Coping with Changes
by lil'chrome-chan
Summary: Tsumugu's suddenly back to town after a while, only to be surprised by Chisaki's change of appearance. It's like she's trying to change; to move on; to let everything go. But Tsumugu knows more than anyone that she's just trying to deceive herself. [TsuSaki]


**Author: **lil'chrome-chan

**Pairing: **TsuSaki

**Rate: **K+

**Genre: **Romance, Hurt/Comfort

**Summary: **Tsumugu's suddenly back to town after a while, only to be surprised by Chisaki's change of appearance. It's like she's trying to change; to move on; to let everything go. But Tsumugu knows more than anyone that she's just trying to deceive herself. [TsuSaki]

**AUTHOR NOTE: **This is my second Nagi-Asu fanfiction and once again, the pairing is TsuSaki. I just never had enough of them.

Actually, I was having doubts about Tsumugu's feelings toward Chisaki even after episode 14, but episode 19 just cleared out my doubts instantly. The way Tsumugu encouraged Chisaki to move on and the way he stroked her hair (and cheek) when she was asleep while—might be—attempting to kiss her, or even more than that if Kaname didn't burst in. Tsumugu even made it clear to Kaname that he wouldn't let him have her if Kaname was someone who'd overlook somebody's (Tsumugu's, to be specific) endangered life, showing that Tsumugu's planning to have Chisaki himself.

Now my only problem is Chisaki's densest of the denses attitude. While she herself is in love with Hikari, she's never aware of others' feelings toward her. Like how she was utterly surprised when Kaname confessed to her even though it's already quite clear that he likes her from episode 1. And after all Tsumugu's attempts to make her happy (for example him going to the city to study more about the sea), she just dismissed that decision as his own ambition even though he clearly did it for her. Tsumugu's shown so many hints that Chisaki wouldn't consider yet I don't think Tsumugu's going to give up soon, seeing how devoted he is to her as shown in episode 19.

One last thing: I _seriously _can't believe Chisaki just consumed alcoholic drink! Whatever it is, plum wine or whatshit, it's fermented! I used to see Chisaki as an innocent little girl even after the five year timeskip, but her act of drinking that thing forced me to realize that she's no longer the little Chisaki I once knew! I don't know if I should be happy or sad! *sobs*

This fic is also inspired by a Pixiv doujin.

Credits go to the Pixiv artist.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Nagi no Asukara!

* * *

That morning, when Chisaki heard the knock on the door, she would never expect to see Tsumugu behind the said door. The surprise managed to almost make her stumble backward if she didn't regain her balance quickly. She had her eyes wide when scrutinizing the person before her. He had grown taller compared to the day he left town.

"Tsumugu? What's wrong, coming home all of a sudden?" she asked, still in shock.

Tsumugu didn't say anything, but it was clear that he was as surprised as her, for an entirely different reason. Not waiting for his reply, Chisaki offered him to get inside.

* * *

_**Coping with Changes**_

_By: lil'chrome-chan_

* * *

"Geez, you should've at least given me a call or something if you're coming home. I can't offer you anything grand this way, you know?" Chisaki whined as she scooped the warm rice and placed it inside the bowl. "Here," she handed it to Tsumugu.

He muttered a small "Thanks" while his gaze still glued on her new hairstyle.

"Your hair," he started while stabbing his chopsticks into the soy beancurd and Chisaki visibly tensed, "did you cut it?" he asked.

"Y-yeah! An image change!" Chisaki smiled, however her stutter didn't go unnoticed by Tsumugu. "How do I look?" she asked, using her fingers to brush her now shorter hair.

Tsumugu looked at her lavender-colored hair. It's at least half as long as the old style. And it was let loose aside from the small braids at the left side, tied with a blue ribbon. Actually, Tsumugu didn't really care about hairstyles, especially if it's _Chisaki's_ hairstyle. The girl just naturally looked good in anything she wore.

"Well, why not?" he answered vaguely.

"Eeh? What's with that answer?" Chisaki giggled.

* * *

Nights alone had been normal for Chisaki, but the fact that Tsumugu's room was bright and lively in the middle of the night lifted her spirits up a bit. She stood by the partition door, conflicted whether she should go in or not. She could imagine him being absorbed in his studies about the ocean, sometimes reminiscing about the past, and sometimes being swept back to reality.

After a while, she finally decided to open the door.

"Tsumugu…?" she called softly, not wanting to startle him.

As she had imagined, Tsumugu was sitting by the desk. Pieces of paper with contents she couldn't quite comprehend were scattered all over on the small desk. Slowly, Tsumugu turned to face her.

"Can I stay here for a while?" she asked.

"Sure," Tsumugu answered before shifting his attention back to his work.

Smiling, Chisaki closed the door and moved to sit beside Tsumugu, hugging her legs as she observed him writing difficult words on the paper.

"Say, Tsumugu, why did you suddenly decide to return?" the lavender-haired girl spoke up after a pregnant silence.

"There's no specific reason," he said, taking a sip of his coffee "I just want to go home. Since I had time anyway…"

Chisaki smiled at Tsumugu's never-changing indifferent way of talking. "Well, even without grandpa here, you would want to go home to the house you grew up in, huh?" she said.

Turning to face her, Tsumugu said, "But you're here, right?"

Almost immediately, blood rushed to Chisaki's face at Tsumugu's words, and she quickly buried herself in her knees. Tsumugu almost felt disappointed that he couldn't see her beautiful sea blue eyes anymore. Those sea blue eyes of a strong-willed and kind girl he had grown to be fond of.

"You see, the reason I cut my hair was to convince myself that I'll be fine even when I'm alone…" she muttered, her voice muffled.

Tsumugu listened keenly to her story. It was not like he didn't know. Chisaki was afraid of loneliness, and he was well-aware. All he thought when he left town was how well she could cope with the sudden change. To be true, he never wanted to leave her side. But if he continued to spoil her, she would never be able to live normally again.

"…when you left, Akari-san and the others will keep me busy by the day so that I'll forget for a while. But when I get home, I'm all alone again. From the first time since I was born, I was alone in a house," she gripped her legs tighter. "At that time I thought I… as the way I was that time it's impossible to face everything. That's why…" she touched her hair and he immediately knew what she meant.

The old Chisaki would never consider changing her hairstyle at all. She was afraid of the slightest change in her life, especially on herself. The Chisaki from five years ago would never be able to cope with the changes in her life. But Chisaki was different now, and Tsumugu felt glad for it.

"But I wasn't blaming you or anything, Tsumugu! In fact, I'm glad you gave me the chance to mature. I wouldn't want to stay weak forever…" she murmured.

Tsumugu looked her in the eyes, "When I left town, I thought you'd cry again…" he spoke up.

Blushing, Chisaki pouted childishly, "I don't cry all the time!" she pounded his chest lightly to show her annoyance.

"But you cry whenever something changes," he grabbed her wrist and made her face him. "The fact that you didn't cry means you're trying to change. Am I wrong?" he asked.

Her eyes wide with realization, Chisaki finally noticed what she was trying to do by the time she cut her hair. She was trying to change. She wanted to move on and to let everything go. Sure, she would never forget about her best friends, her family, and her Shioshishio. But if she continued being haunted by the ghost of the past, she would never be able to face the future.

A sincered smile made its way to her lips.

"Maybe I am," she said.

.

.

.

He stood powerless in front of her room. It was a painful reminder of the past when the only thing he could do was stand and wait in front of her room until her sobbing ceased. He thought he could finally comfort her directly after all these years. But this moment made him realize that he hadn't changed at all—still only able to watch her suffer.

That question she asked him just now: "Have I changed from that time?"

She acted as though she was ready to move on. She put up a front as though she was ready to let everything go. But when Hikari came back, everything came back and attacked her like a tide. Whatever his answer was, he knew that he would only hurt her. With his scowl deepening, he gave her his last question:

"Shouldn't it be a good thing instead?"

.

.

.

**The end**


End file.
